Monday, August 1, 2011
STOP JUDGING ME!
I can't eat these things. Their eyes just follow me wherever I go and they silently scream when I eat them. It's not my fault they were born as potatoes so they need to stop sending me their potato guilt. Shoestring fries at least keep their opinions to themselves.
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9 comments:
Holy crap! Those are made of PO TA TOES? Boil'em, fry'em, stick'em in a stew. Nice big golden chips to go with a piece of fried fish. Even you couldn't say no to that, Gollum.
Oh, man... I better not buy any, or I'd be worried about hurting the feelings of all the ones I hadn't eaten yet!
That's why gummy bears have no eyes.
Looks like something they'd serve at the Odie bar.
It is hard to eat something with a face.
DI - brilliant phrase. It should be on a t-shirt. Show a gummy bear and that sentence about them having no eyes and you got a Threadless winner. Design something. I will expect sketches by the end of the week.
To make these edible for you, do the following:
1. Bake or fry according to packaged instructions.
2. Take a ketchup squeeze bottle -- one with a narrow nozzle, not an actual glass bottle of ketchup -- and put a dot of ketchup between the potato's eyes.
3. Look at the ketchup dot. Tell yourself that it's a bullet hole and that the potatoes are stone dead.
4. When you convince yourself of this, eat the potatoes.
5. Profit!!!
Your solution to my dilema was elegant Jaquandor. Only now I feel like I am eating HINDU smiley faces with the red dot on their foreheads.
OK: When applying the bullet hole, warm up your ketchup a bit first, so it's runnier. Then hold the potato at an angle, so that when you apply the bullet hole, the ketchup "blood" runs down the face a bit. There you go: gunshot blood spatter running from a bullet hole, not potato-monks serving Shiva.
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