Hey, Put The Skull Back In The Grave Ya Royal Emo Freak

If today’s latest meme craze is indeed the pop culture mashup, then what too someone so long to come up with Shakespeare and Dr. Seuss? One wonders. English majors, avert thine eyes, or preparest thyself for Green Eggs and Hamlet posted on Popped Culture by Jeremy Barker.

It's both melancholy and whimsical, two things I like to find together and rarely do. Oh the ennui of the young Prince of Denmark.

I ask to be or not to be.
That is the question I ask of me.
This sullied life, it makes me shudder.
My uncle's boffing dear sweet mother.
Would I, could I take me life?
Could I, should I end this strife?
Should I jump out of a plane?
Or throw myself before a train?
Should I from a cliff just leap?
Could I put myself to sleep?
Shoot myself or take some poison?
Maybe try self-immolation?
To shudder off this mortal coil,
I could stab myself with a fencing foil.
Slash my wrists while in the bath?
Would it end my angst and wrath?
To sleep, to dream, now there's the rub.
I could drop a toaster in my tub.
Would all be glad if I were dead?
Could I perhaps kill them instead?
This line of thought takes consideration -
For I'm the king of procrastination.